Nothing screams "Hey, look, I've got a ninja folder!" louder than a guy who's screaming "Hey, look, I've got a ninja folder!" into a microphone plugged into a professional concert amplifier and output through a Cold War era air-raid siren speaker array. But if something were to be able to scream that as loudly, it would be actually owning a ninja folder for real. Well, color me a screamer, baby, 'cause I gots me a ninja folder! HELL YEAH!!
Not only is this a totally sweet folder, but its a great gift for the indecisive ninja. Like all ninja, the one on the cover of the ninja folder is a lot more than meets the eye. He's a spinner, allowing you to flick his feet and spin him until his powerful ninja magic has shown him the best course of action for your particular circumstance. Lets face it, as a ninja, you've got a lot of options at your disposal in any given situation. But sometimes you just don't feel like making up your mind. Well now you don't have to. The ninja folder knows the path you should walk, and unlike parents or television or religion, the ninja spinner cares enough to to tell you in a very specific manner exactly what you should do. And it is never, ever wrong.
"Silence Opponent" is my favorite option, by the way. So sinister, yet so wise. The other ninja out there will back me up on this. Its almost always the way to go.
The inside flaps, which help you hold your otherwise willy-nilly ninja papers neatly in place, also offer much helpful ninja advice. The left flap, pictured above, offers advice to any hapless non-ninja who may come across the folder, while the right flap, below, offers a multitude of information for ninjlings*, much of which is considered required knowledge by the ancient council of ninja masters. Click the pic for a larger, more readable view.
* - A ninjling is a pre-ninja. Use of the word ninjling is understood to imply a ninja who is very young and not yet fully capable of the full range of adult ninja lethality. Most ninjlings are three to six years old as measured in the Earth realm, and only the rarest of ninjlings are able to battle and defeat more than 25 well trained heavily armed human warriors at once without injury. Most ninjlings are born to ninja parents, others are created via training or black demon magic, while some ninjlings are actually hatched from rare and treasured ninja eggs. Not a lot of people know that.
3 comments:
only one mistery is left - how your ninjaship was aquired? By hatching, by ninja parents, etc...
what are un-ninjas called?
- like the moogles* in the world of Harry Potter, you know :)
*I'm unsure about the word, but also, too lazy to check, sorry:(
"Muggles" is the term you're looking for, dear.
There's a distinction that needs to be made regarding your second question. A non-ninja, someone who has never been a ninja, is called a 'nonja.' An un-ninja, someone who was once a ninja and through some twisted, horrible machination of fate has had his or her ninjaship stripped from them, is an 'unja.' For a ninja, no fate is more terrifying than becoming an unja. It is the ultimate, shameful failure.
As far as how I came to be, that secret has not yet been revealed to me. Only when the ancient ninja masters who reside in the shadow-demon realm of death and fire feel I am ready to learn the secret of my creation will I know. I'll get there some day, but before I can reach that level I've still got a LOT of killin' to do.
nonja and unja - an amazing vocabulary.
Thanks again.
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